FIFA, Reserve Place for Malaysia!

Adapted from an article published in The Nut Graph
23 June 2010

Fifa, Reserve Place for Malaysia!
By Ta' Melayu Hilang Di-Dunia

I’M upset that the Malaysian football team is not playing in the Fifa
World Cup in South Africa. In fact, Malaysia has never made it to the
Fifa World Cup. Ever.

Doesn’t the rest of the world realise that they cannot expect the
Malaysian team to compete on an even playing field?

Don’t they realize that they need to give a helping hand to Malaysians, particularly our Malays, who cannot be expected to compete with the rest of the world without some assistance?

In Malaysia our wonderful government has set up various programs to assist economically challenged Malaysians.

These “affirmative action” programmes used to have a time limit on them, but now these programmes [seem] permanent as the government cannot foresee a time when some Malaysians would ever be able to compete on equal footing with other ethnic groups in Malaysia, let alone the rest of the world.

Similarly, I would demand that FIFA should give special exemption to
the Malaysian team to play in the World Cup, but not because we
deserve to play there on merit like the rest of the world.

Rather, it should reserve a place in the World Cup solely for us, just as the Malaysian government reserves places in university, schools, the civil service, the armed and police forces exclusively for some Malaysians.

Only then can Malaysians, particularly our politically dominant
Malays, take their rightful place in the pantheon of world soccer.

I don’t think it should end there. If Malaysia is to play in the World
Cup, then our team must be given special privileges. For instance, how
about widening our opponent’s goalposts (at least by 30%) just to make it easier for us to score?

Also, how about allowing the Malaysian team to play with 15 players or 30% more players while the opposing team is limited to only nine players?

If we don’t have sufficient players, FIFA should allow us to use
naturalised Indonesians, southern Filipinos and southern Thais for the
Malaysian football team. This would assist in bringing about a more
equal outcome.

Allocating an advantage of 30% of the opposing team’s goals to the Malaysian team would be a nice gesture, too, in order to be consistent with the New Economic Policy (NEP). Actually, why not go for broke and make it 67%, as Datuk Ibrahim Ali suggests?

And for the life of me, I don’t understand why the likes of Ibrahim,
Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad, Perkasa, Gertak, Datuk Seri Hishammuddin
Hussein, Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin and Umno are not fighting for our
God-given right to play in the FIFA World Cup.

They go on and on about fighting for Malay rights here in Malaysia. Why are they wasting their time?

Why don’t they fight for Malay rights on the international stage,
starting with the FIFA World Cup? Only then can Malaysia compete on
the world stage. Only then would they truly be fighting for “bangsa, agama dan negara”, and in that order, too.

Ta’ Melayu Hilang Di-Dunia

23 June 2010